It’s important to motivate children and teens to succeed and do what they love, but a recent newscast in NPR talks about the risks of pushing kids too hard to do well. (The NPR newscast includes a 7-minute talk about this topic which you might find interesting!) It is not a stretch to say that students today feel immense pressure to compete against their classmates and friends to do well, and this stress can be a major contributing factor to anxiety and depression.
Some parents admit that they “totally bought into the idea” that their job is to push their kids to succeed and overcome obstacles. But if the pressure is too much, this effort can backfire. One high school in New York invited a psychologist to evaluate the student body using the Youth Self-Report, and found evidence of high levels of stress. This includes internalizing symptoms, or feelings of sadness, anxiety and depression; physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches, and drug and alcohol use.
According to experts, substance abuse is actually something that affluent teenagers may use even more than inner-city kids, as “a form of self-medication” against the stress of high expectations to do as well as peers or parents. This means that the need for conversation around mental health applies to inner-city and wealthy suburban schools alike.
Parents can play a huge role in promoting well-being as a priority that takes precedence over grades. They can have constructive conversations about stresses their families face, which are not likely to be ones they face in isolation. They can also work with schools in order to improve environments at school and at home. Research-based “resilience training programs” that teach “coping and happiness skills” are taking off at school, even for elementary students. Researchers today are finding that “resilience training can help reduce symptoms of depressive or negative thinking among children”
Student-directed initiatives also give students an opportunity to talk with each other about topics they might not readily share with parents or teachers, and gives them an active role in their own mental health.
All of these efforts should be directed towards valuing well-being and celebrating diverse kinds of passion and success. As a society, we should acknowledge that “a culture shift” is necessary to value all kinds of success instead of prioritizing and zeroing in on certain academic successes or career paths.